“Saying no can be the ultimate self-care.” — Claudia Black
As a woman, I am habituated to say “yes”. I say yes to everything. I have to. And I have to – even I don’t want, to at times.
I am Amrita, a sales manager in mid-sized IT company. My job requires to visit onsite most of the times. And every day back home I double up as a homemaker in a downtown Pune suburb. I am a mother of two. My younger son Adi is in class four in a convent, and my elder daughter Nimi is studying at class eight.
At times the burden of work at home and office becomes overbearing. It seems I am always on a maze of never ending duties. Everyone around me expects to deliver bang on over their demands.
I have to say yes to my Boss on whatever work he piles me up with. I have to say yes to my husband on whatever whims he has. I have to say yes to my children on whatever they demand. I have to say yes to my friends on attending their parties. Sometimes the burden of saying yes sucks me dry.
But no more. At the end, I have found the touchstone which will erase all my burden, all my worries. That is saying “No”. Saying No can be the best tip for you to get healthy stay healthy and lead a meaningful and successful life.
Recently I came across a blog by Stacey Feintuch on healthywomen.org. The blog is “How Saying No Can Be Good for Your Health”. She points out how saying No can reclaim several aspects of our life. The gift of saying no can bring us better confidence, secure space, gain energy, regain control and respect in life. In the words of Claudia Black, Saying no can be the ultimate self-care.
“Sometimes, we need to say no so that we have more time to say yes.” -Suzette Hinton
We all follow a hectic schedule. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have a cuppa for a few fleeting moments, or we can be ourselves for a quiet hour. Life needs introspection and meditation. We come with a purpose in life – and that is finding an identity in amidst the chaos of life.
But in the quest of satisfying everyone, an urge of making everyone happy we lose ourselves in the broken waters of life, and at the end, there remains only a vast emptiness in our soul.
If we can say no to the all the negative aspects of our life – we can lead a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle. But for these, we have to say no to those aspects of life which are eating away too much of our energy.
In truth, everything cannot be a priority in our life. In the madness of giving importance to everything in life – our career, our house, our spouse, our child and even our friends we lose one thing at the end – that is we lose our meaning of living.
“Until you learn how to confidently say NO to so many things, you shall always say YES to so many things. The real summary of a regretful life is a life that failed to balance YES and NO. Yes! A life that failed to recognize when to courageously say NO and when to confidently say YES!” ― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
Now how to stop saying Yes when you want to say No? I realized in my life that I was afraid of saying no because of my biggest fear and that is rejection. I was afraid that every time I shall say No to someone, I would disappoint someone, make them angry, hurt their feelings, or appear unkind or rude to them.
I thought if people think negatively of me, it is the ultimate rejection of myself. I thought my identity depends on what people think of me. I started taking what others would think of me, so seriously – that I made my feelings, my life, my desires of no importance.
Upon introspection on a quiet evening after a tiring day, I found out “And so exactly why I found it so difficult to say no.”
If you start living on other people’s approval, you will never enjoy freedom in life and live truly happy.
Come out of the shadow of other people in your life. Be assertive, be polite and firm on your demands and give more time to positive aspects in life – like meditation, yoga, healthy organic eating, having good night’s sleep – and see how your life changes magically.
I think by now you may have understood “Saying No is The Best Tip for You to Get Healthy Stay Healthy”.
“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself” – Sonya Parker